Saturday, 29 December 2012

A Day of Shame

Today I woke up with news that the rape victim girl died in peace. I was in loss of words about what to say for quite some time. I feel pain and anguish for the girl who just wanted to live but was denied even that much. I don’t know perhaps she asked for too much from a cruel world in which we live in. I pray for the brave girl and may she rest in peace.

 I asked myself many times in the past few days why are we so helpless every time such incident occurs. The government and police are to be blamed for being negligent and insensitive to basic issue of security of women. There are never enough cops at night and those who are present are more focused on harassing commuters. Getting a FIR registered at police station is a nightmare but even more so for women reporting eve teasing or rape incident. The whole system is powerless in providing justice. The quote that is ingrained in Indian Judiciary that ‘Justice Delayed is Justice Denied’ is the greatest lie in Indian democracy.

The government and the police are only representatives of the people. They reflect the society in which we live in. Even the rapist and criminals are part of the society. The root of all heinous crimes and inhuman acts are the result of mindset of patriarchal society where women have always been deprived of their rights and liberty. The respect for women that should be ingrained in everyone from childhood is missing even in well educated and civilised people, let alone the poor and uneducated.

The main issue as believed by some is not single isolated case in the capital of India even though it is the most dreadful example of cruelty faced by women. It is the crime against women in every corner of world that we must fight against. It is not about single highlighted case, it is about every single harassment and humiliation faced by women. The discrimination against women must stop otherwise our society would be maimed forever. The country where half the population is discredited and suppressed at every level could never progress. Humanity is in its true sense is shamed by witnessing such atrocity.

 I was listening to some people as panellist on news channel claiming they were deeply shocked and pained by hearing about what happened to the girl. Some political people were criticising each other and conveying their conspiracy theories. Each of them wanted to show their grief on television and focused on bringing their views and suggestions to limelight. I don’t know how much of this was actually true or genuine but it leaves a big question mark when these faces are absent when similar incident occur without being highlighted by media.
People are asking for capital punishment and maybe it is needed to induce fear in the minds of offenders and rapist but it is not the final solution. It is the people who must change in order to have some significant impact. Only by changing our attitude towards women, any women whether she is related to you or not; can we truly honour the death of girl who died of injuries sustained by the brutal gang rape in streets of Delhi.


Friday, 28 December 2012

The last stand

It is war time. I stand at the wall of my fortress looking at my enemy who is bent upon conquering my strongholds. I must fight with all my might to overcome my enemy who is determined to bring my downfall. I am the sole survivor of past deadly battles, a true warrior in bright armour...

Someone shouted my name...

I woke up with notes in hand amidst angry voices which belonged to my father. It took me some time to understand what exactly he was saying. Apparently I have dozed off while studying for my semester exam which is scheduled tomorrow. After a long tirade about how irresponsible I am and not being serious enough  in some innovative ways he left me to struggle with my books.

I remember a time when these scolding would leave me shame-faced but hearing the same lecture over and over again has made it a kind of a routine. It is part and parcel of every student including me.

I tried to shift my focus to studies. It is very difficult as it is but after a nap it is nearly impossible to concentrate specially in winters. My thoughts drifted to my dreams and I realised that my situation is similar to what I have dreamt. Maybe my mind unconsciously projected a dream which was an amplified and moderated image of my current situation.

Every student faces appealing and very lucrative concept of last night studies (other than few geeks). It is a very crucial time in which we must learn entire semester worth of course and become masters of the subject in just one night. It is an art of selective study with some intuitive guesswork on our part.

Some people call us crazy, some go to great lengths to explain that it is not the proper way of studying, some people have serious doubts about us and they criticize us of being negligent but we are simply lazy people with high expectations.

I am the hero of my story. Exams are my mortal enemy bent upon my destruction. It is determined to destroy me. So in order to prevail I must face it time and again. Last night study is our last stand against a deadly attack and we must give it everything we got in order to overcome and live happily.

With such wonderful thoughts I started smiling and feeling good. My good mood continued until my gaze rested on the wall clock which showed 11 PM. Then I looked at my syllabus and saw the amount of course remaining to be completed. All my happiness got instantly vaporised and quickly a feeling of impending doom rested on me.

And so my last stand began.....

Monday, 10 December 2012

It hurts but in a good way...

The wind of change blows through time. Sometime just a warm breeze shifting the leaf of a tree. Sometimes a thundering storm altering the entire nature of beings .It is one of the most fundamental aspects of nature. Everyone learn early in their life to abide by changes. For one who cannot adapt would perish in the storm of life.
This is a story of my friend who was caught unawares by persistent winds of change transforming him into someone entirely different. For better or worse we shall see....
I shall start from the very starting when we met for the first time. It was my first day of college and we were introduced to each other by some of my classmates. I remember him well an average looking guy of medium height, spikes in hair and strong build. The best thing was a big smile on his face that seemed genuine. He seemed like a friendly guy and kind of person who can easily mingle with everyone. We got along well for like me he was not one of the studious (scary) types.
The most prominent thing about him was his love for motorcycles. He used to do stunts and crazy stuff on bikes. Nobody knows about his stunting ability more than I due to some of the injuries I sustained during one or more of his stunts with me sitting behind him on his bike. He had a wild streak in him and trust me it was not good for somebody sitting behind him on his bike.  
And he was shy around girls...
I am not writing this to embarrass him. Everyone including me had some personal blocks in life and we all get over it and he did too with flying colours. I am writing this part because he used to get irritated sometimes particularly when there were girls present around. He used to be very firm on the point that there is no point including girls in our group. He had a preconceived notion that they are not faithful enough for lasting friendship. I wouldn’t have minded much but he used to seriously dissuade us from spending time with any girl. This was four years back.
After around one year of college I started getting indications that my friend was not as he appears on the surface. First time was when he got caught texting a girl just before start of a semester exam. It didn’t stop here. He went missing on several occasions. Well he later confessed she was his childhood crush and he still got a thing for her. This was three years back.
Around six months back he officially told us he is in a relationship with a girl for quite some time who he had known for past three years. I’m happy for him. But now when I look at him I could hardly find the person who I befriended once. He still has that big smile but with a bit of reserve. He now dresses properly, very neat and tidy without any spikes in his hair or funky shirts. No foolishness on his part now. He is in a serious mood all the time. There is a sense of formality in his actions which is evident in his behaviour. He has changed in ways that has curbed his craziness which used to be his characteristic trait.
I don’t say that he has become awful or something like that. It is just that he had started taking life a bit too seriously and this attitude sometimes takes fun out of your life.    
 It troubles me sometimes to see him behave differently from what he used to. He is one of my closest friends and some part of me does not want him to change. It even hurts a little bit but in a good way. He has not let our friendship suffer and our bond remains strong. Only his attitude towards life has changed. I can live with that.
Change is the only constant in life. It will come to all of us. We must learn to make peace with it. Otherwise life would be very difficult for us. In the end I just want to say that I’m happy that he has found some inspiration around him who had made himself a better person.

Friday, 7 December 2012

Last Steps

I do like to talk about time a lot. It is important to me in ways which are self devised and have coherent meaning in my approach towards life. When life is tough I try to wait patiently for the time to pass. When life is wonderful there is a rush to prolong the happy moments. Nevertheless they slip  through my fingers breaking my heart each time they do so. But such is life. It is never easy. No matter what you do life will tear apart things that you cherish. Yet life is fair for you will receive rewards at places you least expect.

Such thoughts leave me with more questions then at the time they actually started messing with my head. I was troubled by them when I was thinking of the past few days......

My heart is beating with a sense of urgency. It is like someone important is going to be left behind. I tried to soothe it but my efforts were soon drowned in a flood of raw emotions. I felt nostalgic as my eyes swept across the corridor. Seeing those faces that have been my life for the last four years made me realise how much I am going to miss them. An important phase in my life is coming to an end...

I remember the first day of college, when I walked into the college campus with a big smile on my face. After the disciplined and monotonous school life, excitement was budding inside me ready to burst out. I walked around getting the feel of the new place. I thought this place would be the centre of my life for many years to come. I entered my class and looked around anxiously. I made some introductions with my class mates and thus began the most memorable journey of my life.

I had no idea that some of them would become inseparable part of my life. But they did and rest is history. The rest of the day went really fast between trying to remember every body's name and unyielding professors who did not show mercy to the fresh arrivals. As I walked home that day there was a sense of hopefulness in me. I was really looking forward to what the coming days would bring to my life.

And the time flowed..

I don't say my days were always good, that all my expectations were actually met. There were times when I have regretted coming here. But when I look at the faces of my friends that otherwise would not have existed at all, my sense of disappointment fade into nothingness.

All the fond memories of college, the taunts and friendly jibes, senseless chatter, the trials faced ( sitting in lectures), our foolish notions, long bike rides not to forget our own ceremonious meeting (sometimes with glasses in hand) and our birthday celebrations the list goes on and on...
For all these moments I will only say that coming here was worth it and that too in gold.

Memory is like a mirror, it shows the reflection of reality. It is not what the heart desires for it does not satisfy the soul. For my heart longs for the real thing although it might be a moment from the past.
Now I have only left with memories of my college days. As years will pass they too might grow dim and fade eventually. Such is the truth of life. Everything has an expiry date attached to it. So it ends...

Saturday, 1 December 2012

A walk through time

The clock shows midnight and after a long wait the hands of the clock smiles in unison as they are united again for a moment of peace that makes there separation bearable.
Time is an illusion . It literally stops whenever you want to speed things up and just goes off like an super fast train when there is truck load of work that has to be done . You could be cheated by it if you rely too much on it yet it might bring you wonders when you are not looking . Well these are some of the many delusions of my sophisticated mind..

I was thinking how the day went for quite sometime and then just like that I walked through some other time..

I was late as usual and the professor didn't looked happy to see me..
I walked through the benches and sat at a one of the desk at the back of the class room . I instantly got involved in hearing the latest gossips and circulating jibes that are instigated in order to create some fun in otherwise boring college life's of engineers . The professor seemed unperturbed and was still holding her ground in hope that someone in the class might still be listening . I have my share of sympathies for her but they are very limited as my marks in my internal's topped by my attendance.
Well I was scanning the class for anything interesting and both my eyes and my mind were wandering in an  seamless endless wait for lecture to get over . My eyes rested on one of my classmates . He was one of my best buddy from school and we used to do every thing together but strangely enough he seemed a world apart.

Recently he got involved with an girl who was also a good friend of mine . Distances were growing between us after his involvement with her . A part of me was angry at him and wanted to give him a real piece of my mind for abandoning my companionship so easily .
I wanted to insult every bit of him then and there for his behaviour as there was lot of hurt in my insides . I was contemplating for quite some time now,about what should I do . In my heart I knew my words was meaningless and it would do more harm then good . I did not wished to end my friendship on a bitter note....

So sitting at that uncomfortable desk during an endlessly boring lecture ,in presence of an frustrated yet determined looking professor and in company of my silly classmates I choose not to say anything and remain silent..

I could not have foreseen the future but back then,I thought it was for the best...

This was two years ago . If you see from the outside then nothing has changed around me . But for me things have changed a lot . I know now from my past experiences that how you look at the world defines you.
I realised after days of frustration that it was his life and only he can choose how to live it . I think we all make some foolish mistakes at some time or other and hurt people around us willing or unwillingly . Yet we are very angry if same is done to us no matter who is at fault and what is the reason . But when you are full of anger at wrong done to you and the person is important part of your life,sometimes it is better to remain silent and allow time to heal your hurt .

I choose to remain silent that day which prevented me from venting my anger and spoiling my friendship . For he later realised his mistakes and apologised for his behaviour . He was with me today and we had a some great time as usual .

Such is a paradox of time . You cannot turn it back but every time time you let your mind free it is surrounded by memories of the past which are more illuminating  and enlightening then the glorious present .

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

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